Social Media Dos & Don’ts for Divorcing Couples in BC

Don’t let your texts and social media posts come back to haunt you during your divorce.

Across the country, Canadians are spending more and more time on their phones and online, so it should come as no surprise that texts and social media posts from sites like Facebook, X (formerly Twitter), Instagram and others are popping up in family court proceedings.

Still, there’s something about the informality of these types of communication that makes them feel different from a letter or email, and many clients are taken aback when they find out that their messages could become part of the evidence in their case.

Despite that, I have seen countless cases where digital records such as text messages or social media posts have been critical to resolving disputes over various family law matters, including the date of separation, appropriate valuations of family property, parenting time and child or spousal support.

I know that some family lawyers would like to impose a total ban on social media use by their separating clients to reduce the risk of damage to their case, but I tend to take a more pragmatic view. To help you stay on the right track, here is my guide to the dos and don’ts of texting and social media use during your divorce.

In the wake of a separation, people need all the support they can get. Social media and text messages are a great way to connect with your loved ones, share your concerns and maybe even vent about the challenges you’re facing — within reason.

This is easier said than done in the midst of the emotional turmoil that typically follows a split — especially one that was less than amicable. Plus, the informal and frictionless nature of texting means it’s easy to get carried away and say something to a former partner that you later regret.

Those who struggle to contain their anger might benefit from switching to email, where they can get into the right frame of mind for a more considered, respectful approach to communications with their ex-spouse.

For payors of child and spousal support, there’s no better way to get on the wrong side of a judge than by threatening to abandon your financial obligations to your ex. Whether or not you intend to follow through, the court will not look kindly on the threatening party, even if it feels like you were provoked.

Social media makes it easy to lash out instantly and publicly against a former spouse. However, the short-term buzz of vindication could be followed by a courtroom hangover once the post is out there for everyone to see.

That’s why I tell my clients to take a breath before hitting send on a nasty email, text, tweet or Facebook message to (or about) a former spouse — and imagine their judge reading the comment. That’s usually enough for them to hit the delete button, or at least prompt a rewrite that strikes a more appropriate tone.

Couples looking to save on the cost of their divorce frequently discuss the details of a potential family law agreement over text.

But before you agree to anything in writing (even by text), it’s important to consult a lawyer to get a fuller understanding of your rights and obligations and ensure that you are properly protected by any final settlement.

If you are facing a separation and would like to explore your legal options, please schedule a consultation with one of our lawyers. We would be pleased to help you.

*This post is not intended to be legal advice and should not be taken as such. Please contact McConnan Bion O’Connor & Peterson if you have any questions regarding this post or require assistance or legal advice regarding a divorce negotiation.